Oil and Water. Two substances that are useful on their own in a variety of ways, but if you try and put them together in the same place at the same time, it’s not likely to go well. You can certainly force them to mix, but it takes significant effort and might result in something catching fire.
Going into the Lakes distillery I had a few preconceived notions about what I would find, but I ultimately didn’t really know what to expect. What I found was something I am now quite passionate about.
The Lakes is nestled in a beautiful area of the Lake District, right next to the river Derwent, and trust me the distillery doesn’t let you forget it. The drive there is beautiful and once you arrive there’s even a short walk you can take through some alpaca and sheep fields to see the river up close, which is honestly really nice.
I unfortunately couldn’t get many pictures during this tour, as photography wasn’t allowed in the still house itself (and I have my reasons why I think that may be), but we don’t need many today, I assure you. Instead of rolling through the tour bit by bit like I normally do, I’m instead going to rattle off what I like and don’t like about it, and you’ll soon see why I’m formatting it like this.
I really enjoy that emphasis is placed on the importance of water procurement and water filtration when it comes to creating alcohol. The bottle designs here are beautiful, in particular the Galaxia bottle (though it had better be for the price they sell it at).
I love the deeper respect shown for coopering (the practice of cask creation and maintenance), as well as the process of whisky blending. Near the end of the tour guests are allowed to smell an empty sherry cask, something I’ve never had a chance to do before, which is really neat!
And that’s about it! Let’s get into my issues with this tour. The tour guides, as lovely as they are, are unfortunately not super knowledgeable about the subjects they are meant to be teaching the guests about, and sometimes even focus on entirely the wrong things; for example in my tour Orris Root (a key ingredient in gin) was said to be used primarily for the earthy flavour it provides the spirit, which is unfortunately not the case.
Orris root is used primarily as a scent controller to help retain all those volatile aroma compounds in the spirit for a longer period of time. It’s argued in the community whether it even contributes any flavour to gin at all! Orris root was also said to be the same as Angelica, which it categorically isn’t! It serves the same function, but they are different plants with different effects and different price points to boot.
The first 20 minutes of my tour was just spent in the first room being lectured about what goes into spirits and how the process works. Some may say that’s what they expect, but for a tour that only lasts an hour, that’s a long time! Especially since we spent, at most, 10 minutes in the stillhouse, which in my eyes is the main meat of the tour and was, in my opinion, simply glossed over.
A lot of emphasis is placed on the terroir of the spirit, that being the location and the water supply, however a good terroir does not a good spirit make. It’s useful as a tool, but not the be all and end all, yet it’s being pushed as the main selling factor.
The aging talk was… nice? But we just sat in front of a screen and were shown a video using the imagery and methodology of a master blender who left years ago! As mentioned earlier, I do like this part of the tour, if it is a little misguided. It shows using a light board on the side of the room how a barrel can affect spirit colour, which I also thought was neat.
The tasting though, was a bit of a palaver. One of my group was the driver as I couldn’t get transport to the distillery otherwise, and that person was offered to take one sample home with them. One. We were given three to try, and they could only take one. That’s insane!
Thankfully they made an exception and let us take another one, but the fact that the standard is only one sample for the driver is madness, especially since other distilleries on this tour where this issue came up, including the much smaller ones that charge far less than the Lakes, gave the driver all the samples no questions asked! It’s a weirdly tight-fisted manoeuvre from a company that sells its single malts at such a premium.
As for the spirits, I’ll be doing an in depth review of two Lakes whiskies down the line, one blended and one single malt, but as for the vodka and gin I got to try: this ain’t it chief. The vodka has a very slight fruitiness on the palate, akin to Cîroc, but has such a pungent aftertaste. The gin is a bit better, with a sharp citrus and juniper front and a more earthy, pine filled aftertaste. It’s alright as far as gin goes, but it is very powerful, and the taste of alcohol permeates the whole palate.
When the guide received negative feedback from our group about the vodka, they didn’t really know what to do, seeming to almost short circuit for a second, before asking us to “keep it on this table”. That kind of attitude is just not what distilling is about, other stops we’ve had before have emphasised the importance of drinking your way and enjoying what you consume, but it seems that the Lakes doesn’t follow this mindset sadly.
Honestly, a lot of Lakes feels very sanitised and corporate, as if they’re selling you the brand first and the product second. The process of making the spirit isn’t as important to them as the look of the bottle, the romance of the cask making, or the beauty of the landscape around you. I imagine guests who don’t know better would leave with the idea that they’ve learnt something new, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they forgot within a few days due to how dryly the information was imparted.
Me and the Lakes are like oil and water, we serve our purpose individually, but we just don’t mix. I wasn’t lying when I said I was passionate about this distillery, but that passion isn’t necessarily positive. To be clear, if you enjoy the spirits that’s ok! I enjoy a few of the ones I tried too! But I firmly believe that the price point is absurd given what I viewed on this tour. If you’re in the area, enjoy the view, maybe pay the alpacas a visit! Unless you’re already a big fan of the Lakes, give this one a skip, both for the sake of your quality of learning, but also for your wallet.
This post’s recommended song is: “Remember Me” – Somethin’ Brewin’
